


Freckles (My Pixie)

by straightkids (theyoungestoftwo)



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Non-Famous, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Crying, Enemies to Lovers, Fluff, M/M, Minor Bang Chan/Kim Woojin, Minor Hwang Hyunjin/Kim Seungmin, all the other boys are mentioned, bi felix, blood? but only for a little, felix is petty, friends to enemies to friends to lovers if we wanna be technical, jisung is flirty, kind of shitty ill be real, open felix, reference bullying, referenced internalized homophobia, seungmin and changbin speak once, soccer player! jisung, tutor felix, uhhh, uhmmm, what else, woojin speaks twice
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-03
Updated: 2019-02-03
Packaged: 2019-10-21 22:00:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,136
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17650685
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theyoungestoftwo/pseuds/straightkids
Summary: “Ah Freckles, good morning,” A familiar voice chirped from beside him. Felix sighed, tempted to slam his head into the metal of his locker until he couldn’t see anymore. Jisung. Mother fucking Jisung.or 4k of felix trying to convince himself he hates jisung





	Freckles (My Pixie)

**Author's Note:**

> this was made for Jay's birthday so even if it is 10 days early,,, HAPPY BIRTHDAY BUBS!! I love you<3
> 
> i dont have a beta so any mistakes are mine and this isn't proofread WE DIE LIKE MEN
> 
> anyway happy birthday jay ily <3

Felix sat in his car, the heat blaring and making his skin tinge pink. He chugged down the rest of his lukewarm coffee and took a deep breath. He could get through this day without wanting to skin Jisung alive. He could do it. He could ace his test and he could ignore Jisung. He could do it. He could. 

The sad part of it was he couldn't remember a day in the past few years where he didn’t want to skin Jisung alive. He couldn't remember seeing Jisung’s face and not wanting to punch it. That was just their dynamic. That’s just how things were, and Felix wouldn’t lie and say he enjoyed it. Jisung and Felix were neighbours when Felix first moved to Korea, and for a while they were as thick as thieves. The best of friends, attached at the hips, never but a few steps away from each other. They had a big group of friends, Jisung’s buddies adopting Felix into their circle and embracing him with open arms. Then highschool happened, and it was like Jisung never liked Felix. The friend group split, and soon Felix went from having seven close friends and one best friend to having three close friends and no best friend. 

It wasn’t a secret that he was bullied. He didn’t keep his sexuality a secret and had just as many boyfriends as he did girlfriends, each one gaining a new person who decided he was scum and didn’t deserve to be in their school. The majority of them was the male soccer team, or the most popular boys or in the school. Also, Jisung’s new friend group. Felix had never felt more betrayed in his entire life the first time he was cornered by the team and Jisung was in the group. He also hadn’t shown up in the group since, but obviously that meant Felix wasn't even worthy of his time anymore. His heart broke, and the slight hope that Jisung wasn’t like them, wasn’t like the team members that would rather see him bloody and bruised, burnt into ash. From that moment on Jisung was nothing to him, no matter how much that hurt him to say. The parking spots beside him slowly filled and he stepped out of his car to a half-awake Seungmin being smothered by an excited Hyunjin, Woojin shaking his head as he stood next to them. 

“Morning, Jjix,” Woojin smiled, and Felix smiled back, locking his car and walking with his friends to the entrance of the school, laughing loudly and ignoring everyone who stared at him. He was used to the feeling by now. He stopped by his locker on the way to his homeroom, waving at his friends as they separated, and instantly he felt vulnerable. He put in the combination and opened his locker, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. He could do this, he could do this, he could-

“Ah Freckles, good morning,” A familiar voice chirped from beside him. Felix sighed, tempted to slam his head into the metal of his locker until he couldn’t see anymore. Jisung. Mother fucking Jisung. 

“How much do I have to pay you to just… go away?” Felix asked, grabbing his math book and closing his locker. His eyes locked into Jisung’s and for a moment it looked like Jisung was hurt by what he said, but Felix knew better than to trust what Jisung looked like. 

“What? I can’t say hi to my best friend?” Jisung pouted and even if part of Felix found it cute, he steeled his face and walked past Jisung, planning to ignore him before he stopped and turned to face Jisung to say what was on his mind. 

“We haven’t been best friends in a while Jisung. You made that quite clear.” 

☆★☆

Luckily, throughout the school day Felix didn’t see much of Jisung. It wasn’t odd, they didn’t share any classes. While Felix was in chemistry, Jisung had gym. When Jisung had English, Felix was in dance. Their schedules didn’t align. Felix thanked his lucky stars everyday for that. However, after school, Felix was never so lucky. His house was right next door to Jisung’s and his window was parallel with the other boy too, their house plans the exact same. All of this meant that Felix could never really forget Jisung existed, and he was brought great annoyance from it. Especially when Jisung was doing what he is currently. 

“Felix, open your window!”

“Freckles, come on!” 

“I just wanna talk, buddy.” 

It didn’t take long for Felix to break. 

“Jisung, I swear to god if you don’t shut up I will throw a flaming shirt into your room and watch everything you love burn,” Felix growled, eyes narrowed into slits. His chest heaved with his heavy breaths and he could see Jisung gulp slightly. 

“Sorry I- how are you? Are you good?” Jisung smiled, all teeth and gums. His lips formed a heart and that’s how Felix knew he was being genuine but he didn’t know _why_. 

“Why are you talking to me like we are friends, Han Jisung?” Felix felt a part of him die when Jisung’s smile faltered, eventually dropping to a pout. Felix hates him. 

“I miss you.” 

“Keep your lies to yourself. You don’t need me. You never have,” Felix huffed, closing his window. He pretended to not notice the frown on Jisung’s face as he closed his curtains. Felix assumed that’s why he hated Jisung so much because he would always care for him. And he hated that about himself. 

☆★☆

The rest of the week went by as usual, Felix ignoring the very existence of Jisung and his old friends and Jisung making his life a living hell at any given opportunity. But now it was even worse because somehow Woojin and Chan rekindled and started dating which meant a shared lunch table. Felix wanted to hate it but he would never deny his hyung anything, especially if it was important to him. 

Jisung, of course, used this opportunity to tease Felix even more. Felix took it for a few days, sending silent glares and kicks to the shins, neither of which deterred Jisung in any way possible. He eventually stopped worrying about it. Nothing he could do would stop Jisung anyway. 

“Freckles, could you tutor me this weekend?” Jisung pleaded once Felix sat down and the Aussie almost immediately stood back up, the only thing keeping him in place being Woojin’s hand on his arm. Felix sighed and rolled his eyes, plopping back down into his seat dramatically. 

“No.” 

“But I’m failing English and if I fail I’ll get kicked off the team,” Jisung whined, his bottom lip jutted out. Felix rolled his eyes again. 

“That sounds like a personal problem.”  
“Felix!” Woojin gasped at Hyunjin and Seungmin snickered quietly. 

“What? It’s not my fault he’s failing, and besides, he has Chan. He doesn’t need me,” Felix shrugged, eating a bite of his lunch. Woojin just stared at him.

“It would be easier for you to tutor me because you live next to me,” Jisung pouted again and Felix held back a glare. 

“You see Chan literally every day,” Felix opened his bag of grapes and gave a few to Hyunjin when he gasped. He smiled brightly when Hyunjin thanked him silently, kissing him gently on the hand. 

“Are you two… together?” Changbin asked and both Hyunjin and Felix laughed at the question. 

“Hyunjin is _my_ boyfriend, thank you very much,” Seungmin giggled along with the two boys and soon the topic was changed. Felix didn’t notice that Jisung wasn’t talking anymore. 

☆★☆

The morning sun woke up Felix, a noise of discomfort immediately leaving his mouth as he stretched. His phone told him it was almost noon on a Saturday and while he didn’t particularly want to wake up that late, he wasn’t going to complain. School made him lose sleep and he must have needed it if he slept that long. He relaxed on his bed, yawning into his hand. He slipped out of bed and padded his way to the bathroom, turning his shower on and stripping, stepping into the water. He closed his eyes and stood there, letting the water run over his skin. He had just put shampoo in his hair when his mom called him. 

“Felix, dear! You have a guest!” Felix, having not expected a friend to come over panicked and immediately turned off his water, not worrying about the soap in his hair and wrapped a towel around his waist. 

Walking down the stairs to see Jisung talking to his mother made him want to scream. He almost did, until he saw how happy his mom was. He sighed and forced a smile. 

“Sorry Jisung, I was in the shower. You can go wait in my room if you want,” Felix tried to keep his voice level, raising an eyebrow when the older boy looked at him. 

“Sorry Frecks, did I interrupt you?” Jisung smirked, making Felix roll at his eyes at him. 

“No worries, I just wasn’t expecting you.” Felix’s mom looked at him with shock in her eyes so he quickly amended his statement. “So early. I thought we decided on two.”

“Oh right, sorry Lixie,” Jisung smiled, thanking Felix’s mom before standing up and walking to Felix’s room. “Keep on showering, Pixie.” 

“Call me that again and I will slit your throat,” Felix muttered, as he followed the soccer player. 

↪↪↪

“How was your shower, Freckles?” Jisung asked, looking up from his phone when the door opened. He was laying on Felix’s bed and the very sight of him made Felix feel things. The main feeling was anger, but there was this little piece of Felix that made him race through the memories they shared together, memories of when Jisung was the most important person in his life. Memories of when Felix was in love with Jisung. 

Felix hated it. 

“Get off my bed and get out. I already said I wasn’t tutoring you.”

“Felix please, I’m actually begging you. I really need your help,” Jisung pouted, and Felix sighed. He hated how weak he was to Jisung, even after all of these years. 

“Fine. But you owe me one.” Jisung owned him way more than just one thing if this was going to be a continuous thing, but Felix was a nice guy and he could downsize. The less time he spent with Jisung the better. 

☆★☆

There was no “less time” with Jisung. He walked Felix to class, came over after school, came over every Saturday for tutoring, sat with him at lunch. Jisung was around him almost all day every day, and Felix was going insane. Not because he hated it, but because he liked it. He liked spending time with Jisung again and it terrified him. Thankfully, today it seemed like it was going to be a Jisung free day since it was nearing three pm and the bubbly boy was nowhere to be found. Felix ignored the hurt bubbling in his chest. 

“Jisung is here, Felix!” Felix sighed, letting his head drop to his chest. He muttered curse words under his breath, not excited to spend another day trying to teach Jisung English when the boy didn’t even care to learn. Felix was convinced that he never showed up to one class at this point, and it was going to be hard to teach this boy something he didn’t even wanna learn. Yeah, that was the reason. Definitely not that everytime Jisung smiled Felix felt his heart race and he wanted to pinch his cheeks. It’s definitely the English thing. Feet pounded their way up his stairs and soon his door opened to show off a smiley Jisung. Felix found his anger melting and wanted to have himself for it, but he decided he could do that later 

“Good morning, Pixie! Sorry I’m late, we had an emergency practice and then I went to go shower so I didn’t make your room smell like grass and dirt.” 

“What did I say about calling me that?” Felix groaned, getting all the pillows off his bed and putting them on the floor so they could lay on them. Jisung plopped down, taking his textbook and paper out of his bag, scrambling to find his color-coded highlighters. Felix sighed and sat on the floor next to him, lining up his pens as they came flying out of his bag. 

“You wouldn’t dare hurt me. We are friends again and you would cry if you hurt one of your friends,” Jisung spoke, so so casually. Felix halted his movements, letting the words circle around his brain. Friends. Jisung is his friend again. The very word sent panic to him and it was much easier to tutor someone when you didn’t feel like your life was falling down the rabbit hole. 

“Felix?” 

“I’m- I'm fine. I’m fine, uh, where were we?” Felix didn’t want the attention, he wanted to cry in his bed and pretend Jisung didn’t exist because that would be so much easier. 

“You’re not fine, what’s wrong?” Jisung closed his textbook and moved away from both of them, grabbing Felix’s hands and holding them. His eyes were filled with worry, or at least that’s what it looked like. Felix couldn’t really tell over his tears. 

“Y-You aren’t going to leave me again, are you?” Felix whispered, eyes downcast as tears dropped from his eyelashes. He could hear Jisung gasp loudly and soon he was brought into a hug, his face shoved in the junction of Jisung’s neck and shoulder. He smelled like fruit, even if there was a hint of grass still lingering on his skin. Felix cried a little more at that. 

“No hey, Felix I- I’m not leaving you. It was a mistake the first time and I’m definitely not doing it again. It’s okay Lixie, I’m not leaving you, never again,” Jisung’s voice was calming and Felix could feel the vibration of Jisung’s voice. His back was growing a little stiff at the awkward position he was in so he climbed on top of Jisung, not moving his head. He was aware that he looked like a baby and was acting like one too, but he didn’t care. With the hand carding through his hair and gentle humming coming from the boy beneath him, it didn’t seem like Jisung cared either. 

☆★☆

The lunch table was loud for once, the nine boys acting like a group again. Felix was staying quiet, a small smile on his face as he watched his friends act like friends again. He chewed his food quietly, not adding to the conversation because it didn’t look like hey needed his input. He was also a little shocked that once Jisung and Felix announced that they were cool the whole group acted like best buddies. He figured it was because the group never really split from each other, it was just Jisung and Felix splitting from them. The thought hurt a little too much for him to consider. He jumped when someone nudged his leg, eyes flickering up to meet Jisung’s. The soccer player raised an eyebrow and offered his pudding cup to the freckled boy. It was chocolate, his favorite. And surprisingly, Jisung’s favorite too. 

“You don’t want it?” Felix asked quietly, grabbing the plastic cup and plastic spoon, hesitating to eat it in case Jisung changed his mind. The older boy just smiled and shook his head. 

“You can have it.” Felix smiled and took a bite, dancing a little in his seat. But soon, his conscience caught up with him and he remembered that this was Jisung’s pudding and he deserved at least one bite. So, having this in mind, Felix scooped up some of the desert and offered it to Jisung, who smiled and ate it off the same spoon. 

Felix ignored the fluttering of his heart at the accidental indirect kiss they just had. Jisung was barely his friend at this point, and Felix had gotten over his crush on Jisung. He had. 

Right?

☆★☆

The library was quiet, the Sunday afternoon sun making the books tinge orange. Felix sighed and dropped his head onto the table as he heard Jisung mess up the sentence again. 

“I’m going to fail,” Jisung whined, pouting and looking up at Felix through his lashes, making Felix sigh and try to help him again. 

“Think of one thing you like.”

“Cheese.” 

“I- okay. Cheese. Think of one thing you like more than cheese.”

“You.” Jisung looked so serious that Felix choked slightly. Jisung chuckled at him, offering his water bottle to the red-faced boy. Felix took it and drank, avoiding eye contact with the flirty boy. This had been happening recently, Jisung flirting and flustering Felix. It seemed like a joke at first but then Jisung would hold his hand when they went out with friends or back hug him in school. The soccer team didn’t seem to appreciate that, but Jisung also didn’t seem to care. Felix knew he was touchy, he had always been touchy, so that’s why he brushed it off. But the cuddling turned into sleepovers was new, the lingering kisses on Felix’s forehead were new, the possessive hand on Felix’s hip was new. This wasn’t just Jisung being touchy. This was very very different. Felix liked it but it scared him, so he never addressed it. 

“Can we keep the food analogy? That might make it easier,” Felix spoke quietly, smiling bashfully when Jisung rolled his eyes. 

“But I do like you more than cheese.”

“I’m honored, but please Sungie, I might actually explode,” he whined, pressing his palms to his cheeks to hide how red he was getting. Jisung just laughed quietly, shaking his head. 

“I’ll say another food if you let me hold your hand.”

“Jisung!”

“What? You look cute right now.” Felix sighed, feeling his cheeks burn even hotter but dropping a hand so Jisung could hold it. The older boy giggled quietly and intertwined their fingers. “I like pizza more than cheese.”

“Okay! So you would say **‘I prefer pizza over cheese.’** “

“That’s it?”

“That’s it.”

“You’re shitting me.”

☆★☆

Felix was sitting on his couch, house quiet on a Friday night, time bordering on becoming Saturday. The tv was quiet as the boy dozed off on the couch, eyes drooping as he watched reruns of an old cartoon. He should go lay down, but he was too sleepy to move. And then his phone rang. He pouted, not even checking the caller i.d to see who was calling. 

“Hello?” He answered, yawning behind his hand. He waited a few moments, growing frustrated when the person didn’t answer. “Anyone there?”

“Are you home?” The voice responded, and Felix was a little shocked at who was calling him. 

“Sungie?” It wasn’t that he was surprised that Jisung had his number, they texted all the time. If they weren’t together, they were texting. But Jisung never called; if he had something he wanted to tell Felix he would just come over. This was new, which meant that something was wrong. The very thought of that made Felix panic.

“Felix please,” Jisung begged and Felix could hear the tears in his voice. 

“Yeah, I’m home. Are you okay?” 

“I’ll be there in five.”

“Jisung, really are- you hung up on me okay.” Felix felt his stomach tie with knots at the idea of Jisung being hurt. Jisung, his more than a friend but less than a boyfriend, being hurt made him panic. And a panicked Felix was an overly cautious Felix, which meant that the first aid kit was unloaded on the bathroom counter and he was waiting outside with a kitchen towel on his shoulder. He bounced on the balls of his feet as he waited for the boy to hurry up and come to his house. 

When he saw Jisung walk up his driveway, lower half of his face covered in blood and tear stains on his cheeks, he ran out to him. He didn’t say anything, didn’t even mention the alcohol he smelt on his breath. His palms found homes on Jisung’s cheeks, cradling his jaw like he was fragile. He wiped the tears away with his thumbs, feeling Jisung leaning into his right hand with a whimper. 

“What happened, dove?” Jisung didn’t respond and Felix didn’t force him to, grabbing the towel and wiping wet blood off his face. “Come on, let’s get you inside.”

The two boys made their way to Felix’s bathroom where he put Jisung on the toilet and wet a corner of the towel to get the dried blood off Jisung’s face. Next, he focused on Jisung’s torn knuckles, cleaning the dirt out of them before placing an antibiotic ointment on the cuts and covering them with band-aids. No words were spoken as Felix gave Jisung a look over to make sure he was fine before leading them both to his bedroom. He let Jisung change quickly, handing him a pair of boxers and an old t-shirt to sleep in. Once the older boy was in the bed Felix flipped off the light and followed. He placed his head on Jisung’s chest, fingers drawing small circles on Jisung’s stomach. 

“I quit the soccer team,” Jisung spoke for the first time since he got to Felix’s house, voice crackly and hoarse. Felix froze for a moment and opened his mouth to speak but he let Jisung continue when he started talking again. “Actually, all of the boys quit too.”

“Why? Soccer was always very important to you.”

“They were talking shit about you and Woojin and I just- I can’t let them do that anymore. Or at least I can’t be part of it. I can’t hurt you like that. I won’t.”

Felix didn’t mention anything about the past few years or that one-time Jisung watched as he was shoved into lockers. He didn’t need to add onto Jisung’s guilt, especially not right now. 

“I hurt you for so long I- I can’t do it anymore,” Jisung started to cry again, holding Felix closer to his body. “I’m so sorry. I’m sorry I was stupid.”

“What makes you stupid, dove?” Felix asked quietly, not wanting to Jisung uncomfortable but wanting to know what Jisung meant. 

“I had the biggest fucking crush on you. I still do. But I thought that if I just separated myself from you that it would be okay, that I would realize I didn’t actually like you like that and we could be friends again, but that didn’t fucking work. All I did was lose you. I’m so sorry,” Jisung wept and Felix hated it, he hated hearing how much guilt Jisung was holding so he wiggled up and pressed a kiss on Jisung’s cheek. No matter how much Felix hated Jisung, knowing why he did it, even if it was only a little peek, made his heart hurt. 

“It’s okay Jisung, I promise. It’s okay.”

“I love you, Felix. I am fucking in love with you.” Felix smiled a little, thumbs wiping the moisture on Jisung’s cheeks away again. He leaned forward and pressed a gentle kiss on Jisung’s mouth. There was a sparkle in Jisung’s eye that wasn’t there before; it was enchanting. Felix wanted to take a picture of it and frame it. He wanted to immortalize Jisung’s beauty. He wanted Jisung, with the faults and imperfections and cracks and bruises. 

“I love you too, Jisung.”

☆★☆

“I’m getting really good at this English thing, aren’t I babe?” Jisung smiled, looking up from his notes. Felix snorted, rolling his eyes and shaking his head. Jisung pouted, bottom lip jutted out. “Babe~”

“You’re getting better, but I wouldn’t say you’re good.” The pout only deepened and Felix felt the urge to kiss it, but the two of them had been kissing all day and his lips felt bruised. So sadly, no kissing was going to happen.

“What if I tickle you? Hm? Would that change your mind?” Jisung raised an eyebrow and Felix instinctively leaned back. Jisung’s red lips pulled into a smile as he followed Felix, a playful glint in his eyes. Felix gulped. 

“Baby please, I’m sorry,” Felix tried to beg for his innocence but it was a fail when Jisung laughed at him, fingers wiggling on Felix’s ribcage. Squeals broke the ambience, Felix laughing hysterically and Jisung laughing right along with him. It took a while for Jisung to stop, seemingly satisfied now that Felix was breathless and smiley, tears building in his eyes and cheeks flushed rosy pink. Jisung smiled widely, brushing the hair off Felix’s forehead. Felix giggled at the affection. 

“I love you, my Pixie.”

“I love you too, my annoying little asshole.”


End file.
